I was told by a trusted source that my old Bissell is no longer fit for purpose. Vacuum cleaners are of no interest to me, but I can take a hint. When I saw the Dyson with the sphere at Costco, I got that.
I should have known better. A civilization has to be at least a Type II on the Khardashev scale for a Dyson sphere, and we aren’t close to that.
The trouble started as soon as I opened the box. Dyson figures if a guy is autistic enough to by a Dyson sphere, he isn’t going to read the directions. Instead, you get context-free diagram with a cheeky ‘clik’.
I don’t know what part that is and what it cliks with. There a whole bunch of little parts that clik into something.
The diagrams didn’t explain that the vacuum cleaner gets a tracheotomy. The tube gets shoved down it’s throat. Nothing actually cliks.
The body of the Dyson looks like a 12 cylinder radioactive fuel containment vessel.
Opening up the vessel, you get this weird looking thing.
It looks like a tampon for your dick. Probably a filter. I will never know because there are no directions. Getting this far, there are many more parts that clik.
I am concerned that the Dyson design is too clever and not sufficiently robust.
The sphere is maneuverrable when the landing gear retract.
The retractable wheels I’ve seen, get out of the way when going over 5 mph. That’s on motorcycles, so I don’t know what makes these retract.
There is a suction port at the top of the handle. I’ve no idea what this is for. Maybe so you can smoke while vacuuming. Just exhale into the port.
The vacuum cleaner accessories are usually stored somewhere on the machine. I know that much, but could really use instructions.
There is a nifty upholstery head, but I don’t know where it cliks in for storage. I tried cliking in to that hole on the handle.
WARNING – DO NOT TRY THIS.
The upholstery head wasn’t in the way, but when the vacuum cleaner was turned on, those power heads spin aggressively. If you aren’t wearing a shirt when vacuuming, your nipples may get sanded off.
I’ll just store the upholstery head in the closet.
After a trial use, the Dyson sucked up enough hair to make a new beagle. If it holds up, I may get to like this vacuum cleaner of the future.
Rick, I’m so sorry, I never had to put one together from the start, that was Randy’s job. But a lot of those parts look like my dyson, the one thing is just a filter, and the little red thing is just a cap that goes over the hole….look on utube, I’ve had to take mine apart and I could do it by watching utube. SORRY maybe get your engineering nephew to put it together. Although you put IKEA stuff together all the time – I think you can do it fine!
Yeah, it will work out.