When I saw the Sagrada Familia basilica being built in Barcelona, it seemed very planet-of-the-ape-y. 

It was designed by Gaudi, and has an organic look that I really like.  This was in 1991, and since it was being built by Spaniards with private donations, I doubted it would ever be done.

Now it is finished, mostly, and there is a Lego Sagrada Familia kit for $799.  It looks horrible.

The actual basilica is fine, good on them for finishing, but they added a bunch of extra stuff that I’m not nuts about.  It’s the Lego kit that I don’t understand.

Why would you want this?  You have to assemble it from twelve thousand pieces, so there is no creativity involved.  If it gets bumped, it falls apart.  Do they glue the pieces together?

Does this lady want to work in a sweat shop, mindlessly fitting tiny bits together?  She looks cute.  The dating scene must be really abysmal in her town. 

She is obviously lonely, but her love of fluffy sweaters is stronger than her need for companionship.  With the candlesticks and other superfluous crap on low furniture, she’s never had a cat in her apartment.  Even a good dog like Sparky is going to rise up on his haunches to see what she’s working on.  She should have purchased the sturdy IKEA table, instead of the rickety model.

Why did she choose a Lego Sagrada Familia to relieve her boredom?  I have a theory.

In that little drawer unit behind her head, she has painted figures of all the characters from Planet of the Apes.  A couple of drawers for the militant gorillas standing or seated on horses.  A couple of drawers for Dr Zaius and his orangutan colleagues.  Human drawers and chimp drawers.  Her favorite drawers hold Cornelius and Zira in various outfits.  Rough clothing for field work, casual outfits, and formal wear for their wedding in the Sagrada Familia. 

One drawer is locked, and that’s where she keeps the raunchy figures.  There might be monkey sex in the choir loft.  Deep in the relic chambers, Zira experiments with Taylor to produce a monkey-boy.  For science.  How could she be attracted to the hairless ape?

“Taylor, call me a damn dirty ape again.  Look at my paws!  I was just eating garlic chicken with my fingers, my paws are stinking.  Oh, my paws, my paws!”

Cornelius isn’t interested in Nova, he just wants a quick handy back in the nave, since Zira is always busy organizing the exhibits in the relic chamber.

Spending time on the Lego kit is better than spending time on social media, so good for her.  I hope it works out.