Push to rename Nashville airport for Dolly Parton gets a boost from Tennessee’s governor

Renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America is uninspired, but this is a great idea.  

I am qualified to judge because I usually come up with good names.  Sparky is a great name for my little piglet, and my one-handed sledgehammer is ‘pocket Hercules’.  I have names that made it into corporate literature, but let’s stay focused on Nashville International Airport.

Commentators haven’t yet explored why this is such a good idea.

1.  There are Americans that don’t love Dolly Parton, but nobody hates her.

2.  Foreign travelers may not be familiar with Dolly Parton, but she represents the authentic, rural America that will differentiate Nashville airport from every other airport in the world.

3.  Airports should be renamed.  Cleveland Hopkins International Airport is named after a city manager from 75 years ago.  I bet less than one person in a thousand, picked randomly from county residents, could provide his first name.  It’s William.  

Nashville was the same.  It was originally named after a federal official, Harry Berry.  It was renamed almost forty years ago, but still has the airport code “BNA” for Berry Field Nashville.  That’s confusing, so changing the code to “DPI” will be good for flyers.

4.  Dolly Parton represents a durable brand.  Interesting airports have a theme that can be used for exhibit space. She provides several themes to build on.

  • Parton represents a strong woman in a very competitive business, so a business center fits. 
  • Parton established the Imagination Library that sends out millions of books to children in 1800 communities.  The airport could have a children’s library or reading room.
  • Parton represents country music.  New artists can be showcased.
  • Parton represents down-home living.  Cracker Barrel should build a terminal, or at least have an airport restaurant.

5.  There is the “Hello, Dolly!” line.  That is a stretch, but it is an airport with frequent arrivals and departures.  They may want to get ahead of this one, and press for the Louis Armstrong version.  If Carol Channing’s people get their shit-hooks into the airport, all is lost.

Maybe Dolly Parton International Airport can maintain a cross-promotional relationship with Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans.

It will be tempting to nod toward Dolly Parton’s big tits with a couple of observation domes or other crass feature.  Cooler heads should prevail, and avoid this mistake.