Big Stick Physics

Lettuce or Salad Greens Linked to ‘Explosive’ Diarrhea Outbreak Hitting Thousands Across U.S.

The uninformed answer to that rhetorical question seems like it should be Sparky, but he usually dumps in considerate and unlikely places like down rabbit holes, on a stump or in a patch of poison ivy.  He isn’t the problem.

As a food, lettuce brings nothing to the table.  Only eat salads that start with some other food, like tuna, chicken, ham, potato, macaroni or fruit.  In an unfamiliar restaurant, it’s probably safe to order a salad named after a place, like Waldorf, Russian or Caprese.

This explosive diarrhea fad comes from people taking an expedient shit in a farm field.  When it’s time to wipey-wipey, what are they supposed to use?  If lettuce is available, nobody is going to choose acorns, coconuts, sea shells or corncobs.  They just aren’t.