Author: Richard Nestoff (Page 16 of 58)

Sparky doesn’t play fair.

Living with Sparkles is not all beer and skittles.

No matter what Sparky is doing, if I sit in a comfortable chair, he will come over and put his paws up on the cushion.  Sparky wants to sit on my lap, but sometimes, I just want to put on my shoes.

Sparky puts one paw up like he’s some kind of Purple Heart wounded hero dog.  Then he tilts his head like a liberal.  His last trick is to avert his eyes like a Charles Dickens street waif.  It’s way too much.

After teaching for 25 years, I’ve got a black and flinty heart, so I can resist, but it’s a near thing.

Camper seating version 2 project

Sparky isn’t being exploited, he is part of the reason the camper seats needed to be updated to version 2.

Last year, I re-imagined the seats in the camper and posted about it.  Camper seating version 1.

The design was flawed.  Seats are more comfortable when they slope down a bit.  These were horizontal.  The seat backs tilted back, but weren’t very sturdy.  In bed mode, the sleeping area was bigger than it needed to be, but there were too many steps to get to bed mode. 

I could have lived with it, but Sparky wasn’t satisfied.

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Tank Girl beats Borderlands

Borderlands is a women-led, quirky, post-apocalyptic action movie, but it fails to be entertaining.  Tank Girl is a more entertaining women-led, quirky, post-apocalyptic movie.

Tank Girl is a fun, bizarre movie, based on a comic book, that isn’t for everyone.  I enjoyed it, but it’s only got a 5.4 on IMDB.  Borderlands, based on a video game, doesn’t seem to be for anyone, and has a rating of 4.3.

I’m not smart enough to point out all of the differences, but suspect that casting is an issue.  Borderlands stars  55 year-old Cate Blanchett and 66 year-old Jamie Lee Curtis.  The two grandma-bosses are expensive and don’t bring anything to the movie.  Tank Girl has 32 year-old Lori Petty and 27 year-old Naomi Watts.  Those two may not have the acting chops, but these movies don’t require it.  They do bring energy and fun.

Both movies lost money in the theaters, but nobody will remember Borderlands.  After thirty years, Tank Girl is still considered a cult classic with passionate fans.

Sparky gets special effects.

Sparky and I are looking after a friend’s house in the woods.  I intended to get video of Sparky gamboling and frolicking in the yard, when he spotted a rabbit.  Sparky doesn’t like this video because he hadn’t shat yet, or even stretched his legs after the car ride.  Sparky says that he has chased rabbits much more ferociously than this.  It’s true, but it’s the only video I’ve got with an actual rabbit.

We compromised by tarting up the video so it looks like Sparky has night vision and bionic legs.

Here’s the actual video unadulterated.

After that, I waded into the blackberry brambles to extract Sparky.  He got a chance to gambol and frolic, then we hiked through the woods.  I checked the house and had a beer.

I like how my camera’s fisheye lens makes Sparky’s tongue look ludicrous.

Sparky figured out that he likes looking out the window.  Dogs usually like that, but Sparky was never into it.

After that big day, Sparky was worn out.

Here’s how worn out he is.  It’s 11 pm, and Sparky has been staring at me for ten minutes.  He can take a nap or go to bed whenever he wants, but he is trying to hypnotize me into going to bed.

Sparky tooth and claw

 

Bullwinkle used to do that “Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of this hat” routine.  Sparky does that with baby rabbits.  He seems to have them stashed all over the place.

It’s startling when Sparky is doing his sniffing and foraging routine, then comes out of the bush looking like John Belushi in Animal House.

The expression on Sparky’s face was just like this.  I wouldn’t take a picture because I am usually concerned for the prey and the image might make you think less of my little buddy.  To his credit, Sparky does drop his prize with some coaxing, but it won’t be going home.

To be fair, WTF momma rabbits?  Childbirth is harrowing, but the best you can do is have babies behind a woodpile or under a bush?  Sparky can only get about 10 feet into the woods and there are rabbit holes all over the place.  Sparky has free rein over about a half-acre. 

After Sparky imposed order on the chaotic rabbits, they’ve been scarce on that half-acre.  They go on the other side of the highway fence or deeper into the brush.  Have babies there.  Or, cross the creek to the two acres where Sparky doesn’t roam free.

I don’t chastise Sparky for being true to himself.  The first time, he pulled three little bunnies out from behind a woodpile before I caught on.  We got a rotisserie chicken after that to make up for his lost bounty.  Yesterday, I brought him in and gave him a meaty treat, and keep him away from that spot.

Sparky has a job.

 

Sparky loves a car ride and is liked by Anita and Jimmy.  Everyone was too busy to play with him or to watch the door.  Sparky thought that he might be working there now, so he took sentry duty.  Those two people by the window got in, but no rabbits or coyotes did.

The ridiculous Olympics

Australian dancer ‘Raygun’ is going viral for her Olympic breaking performance

When boxing women turned into battering women, the IOC’s response soured the Olympics for me.  The Olympics used to be about perseverance, determination, excellence and other high-minded ideas.  Now the Olympics is a media franchise that is chasing social media attention.

Break dancing tested well, so it’s an Olympic event.  Looking into the break dancing event, I found that Australian break dancer, Rachel Gunn, was trending.  This meme sums up the general response:

I don’t agree.  Gunn’s routine is outlandish and compelling.  I couldn’t stop watching.  She seems to be saying, “I’m in Paris, competing in the Olympics, and this is how I dance.”

Good for her.  Gunn can’t compete with the aggressive athleticism of the other competitors.   She couldn’t even compete with the little Black kids I’ve seen break dancing on the street in Chicago in the late 80’s.

Known as the country’s best female breaker, Raygun has proudly represented Australia in 2021, 2022 and 2023 at the World Breaking Championships, per CNBC. She ranked 64 out of 80 breakers.

Rachel Gunn is Australia’s “Jamaican bobsled team”.  Is it possible that Australia can’t do Black urban culture?  Australia is far from the Western world, and have their own Black folks.  It feels disrespectful to call Aborigines “Black folks”, because they are portrayed in media as an indigenous people with the mystic old wisdom.  Maybe Aborigines fill the societal slot for Black culture, so they don’t need ours.

Sparky comes when called.

Sparky is a rugged individualist, but he knows the score.  In the Coyote post, I mentioned that Sparky gets to free-roam as long as he doesn’t go too far.  I am proud of him for figuring out that if I holler, he has to come back, or I have to get off my bench, chase him down and haul him in.

I am actually amazed that he comes running all the way back.  That might seem like a low bar for dog training, but for an old beagle with his own agenda and a mysterious past, it’s astounding.

The ground is tore up because First Energy contractors were in to clear brush. 

Get a dog with floppy ears.

Sparky meets a coyote.

Sparky and I went out for dusk patrol.  Rabbits are more likely to be out at dusk and dawn, and it’s good for Sparky to get some exercise before dinner. 

With his brush anchor, he can’t go too far into the woods and the highway fence keeps him penned in on the other side.  He can free-roam all the way down to the creek, sniffing and pissing as much as he wants.  I keep an eye on him, and when he crosses the land bridge and starts to go up the hill, I call him and he comes back. 

That’s what happened tonight.  After he crossed, a coyote popped out of the woods about 30 feet away.  Ever vigilant, Sparky went after the coyote. 

When Sparky has something to chase, he stops listening.  As he ran up the hill away from me, I ran down the hill.  Thankfully, I’ve been diligent about doing my cardio, but I did a half-hour on the elliptical today, so this didn’t seem fair.  When I crossed the creek and started up the hill, I really wasn’t enjoying myself.  Croks are comfortable and convenient, but completely inappropriate for running up a hill. 

By the time I reached the top, Sparky was gone.  It wasn’t long before he popped out of the woods to tell me that he might need some help with the coyote.  We looked around for a while, and came in.

Sparky is really excited, and is going to be talking about this coyote all night.  As I was typing this, he came by to tell me about it again.

I told him that I was there and saw the coyote, but he doesn’t believe me.

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