This is what happens when it’s midnight, and I want to have a beer and stay up.

We’ve had this conversation many times before.

Sparky, you can go to bed if you want to.

“I wouldn’t abandon you like that, you might get mixed up.”

Are you kidding?  You wander away from me all the time.  It’s your only flaw.  That and your breath smells like poop.

“You sound cranky.  Are you hungry?  Make us some popcorn or a peanut butter sandwich or marshmallows.”

So that’s what we do.  That’s how I know that dogs can hypnotize us with their eyes and cuteness.