Sparky should be happier. 

I brought in the firewood, went down to the garage for kindling, started the fire and moved his bed so Sparky could enjoy the ambiance.  Why is he disgruntled?

“Lounging?  I’m working like a dog over here.”

You aren’t working, you’re warming your old bones by the fire.

“I make it look easy.  It’s hard work keeping the deer and coyotes away.”

There aren’t any animals in here.

“See, that’s how you know I’m doing a good job.”

Thank you for your service.  I sleep better knowing you are on duty.

“Don’t sleep too well.  Before I woke  up, I saw a peccary or javelina sniffing around the bedroom.  I get them two things mixed up.”

You saw one of these?  Was it near the closet by the mirror?

“Yep.  It looked like that, and he was making fun of me.”

That’s a skunk pig, and you were looking at yourself in the mirror.  I’m going to tell Aunt Joanne that your new name is Skunk Pig.

“Don’t do that.  It’s okay when you call me Señor Piglet, because nobody knows what that means.  If you call me Skunk Pig, Aunt Joanne will think that I don’t smell too good.”

You don’t.  The first time we visited Aunt Joanne’s Fun House, you rolled in some kind of yard poop.  Last time we went, you ate all of the cat food.  Aunt Joanne likes you because you remind her of the skunk pigs she used to play with in Utah.

“Really?”

I don’t know.  Maybe.

“Okay, I’ll be Skunk Pig, but can you make it sound fancy, like ‘Mr. Moose’?”

Let me check Google Translate.  What do you think of “cerdo zorrillo”, “Stinktierschwein”, “skunsovaya svin’ya”, or “cochon puant”?

“That last one sounds pretty good, like ‘cookie peanut’.  Since I’m a ninja, we should check Japanese.”

Google says that would be “Mizubata”.

“They have a single word for ‘skunk pig’? “

That’s what Google says.

“Yeah, fine.  Look, I don’t know how we got started on this, but I gotta get back to work.”

I’ve got work to do too.  I need to do more research.

No deer or coyote showed up, so Sparky had been effective.  Grok was able to generate an image of Sparky as a skunk pig, so my time was spent productively.

The Grok image lacks Sparky’s soulful eyes, whimsical ears, and don’t get me started on that vulgar nose.  I will keep my ninja Mizubata.  I should rub his belly for a while so he knows that his work is appreciated.