Sparky has every reason to think that good things are coming his way.  Poor dog, it’s not going to work out this time.

The house smells like ham and I’m working with food on the counter.  My good puppy knows that I’m going to slice off a piece of something for him.  Sadly, I’m making split pea soup.  That means that three quarts of broth from a ham bone are simmering on the stove.  The house smells fantastic.

Lunch meat is ridiculous.  A spiral-sliced ham often sells for a $1.50 per pound.  The sliced ham gets carved up, vacuum sealed and sealed.  The remaining ham on the bone gets packed separately, and the bone gets boiled for broth.  The broth gets frozen in quart containers, then vacuum packed to make split pea soup.  When making soup, the bone is long gone.  

After a pound of split peas are added, I start cutting up the carrots, potatoes and onions.  Sparky and I tend to like the same foods, but we differ on a few broad categories.  I like fruits and vegetables, while Sparky prefers animal carcasses, tiny animals and goose shit.  When I’m cooking, Sparky knows there going to be some meat, and that means some meat scraps.

I don’t make it often enough for Sparky to learn that split pea soup is a charade.  The broth smells great, but has only the essence of ham.  The chunky ham from the shank has already been trimmed.  I’m just dicing vegetables, but Sparky doesn’t know that there is nothing in this for him.

Sparky comes in to the kitchen, licking his chops.  All I have to offer is carrots, potatoes and onions.  Sparky will soon leave the kitchen, thinking that I’m busting his chops.  I hate for the little fella to think that I have betrayed him.

Later on, I will throw some doggy treats in the snack pit so Sparky knows that I’m not screwing with him or putting him on a diet.

When the split pea soup is done, there will be about four quarts.  It doesn’t freeze well because the vegetables get mushy.  One quart will go to my sister-in-law, a quart will go to my assistant social coordinator and I will finish up the other two.

Without doing a detailed financial analysis, it probably costs $4 for a quart of really good split pea soup.  It really hits the spot when it’s getting chilly in the Fall.