This is the feel-good video of the week. 

If you’ve been busy in real life, here is the video.  The background is that President Trump has federalized law enforcement in Washington DC.  It is instructive.

 

Lesson #1:  Don’t go out drunk and alone.

DC is not safe, but that’s not the reason.  Even in a bougie college town, anything can happen because there are other drunks around.  Nobody has good judgment.  A lone drunk can get lost, robbed, pranked or beaten up.

Lesson #2: Read the room.

The Black folks he was talking to were just playing.  We don’t know what happened before the video started, but he probably stumbled up to a happy group of Black folks and gave a “Down with the struggle” rant.  They recognized a drunk White savior, and engaged with him for sport.  They aren’t serious at all, just hoping something funny happens. 

Lesson #3: When everyone says you’re drunk, get off of the table.

To modernize the concept, when people start pulling out their phones to get you on video, something embarrassing, dangerous or amazing is about to happen.  If you’re drunk, it won’t be amazing.

Lesson #4: Don’t taunt people with guns.

That seems obvious, but cops have to show restraint.  The risk is small, but it isn’t zero.  The cop is a person, too.  No telling what his day has been like.  Don’t risk being the thing that pushes him over the edge.  They have the ability to kill at a distance.  Give them space, don’t engage or draw attention. 

Lesson #5:  Never, ever touch a cop.

Cops still have to show restraint, but now they can touch you back.  The cop has been waiting for the confrontation to get physical, but you were just screwing around.  Also, now an unarguable, chargeable offense has been committed.  Almost anything counts as assault.

Lesson #6:  Don’t skip cardio day.

Many cops are not physically fit and many cops were high school athletes.  If you are going to run, get a head start, run fast and keep running.  A cop isn’t likely to shoot, but there are many ways to tackle a fleeing perpetrator.  Some aren’t so gentle.

That was a gratifying video.  The Black folks had a good time encouraging the snooty yuppie prick to do something entertaining.  The cops got to dispense some justice and get in a little run.  The yuppie lost his DOJ job and will end up with a misdemeanor with no jail time.