Nobody knew that TikTok women are excited to see an unappealing fishwife masturbate with a rattan golem.

This is one of those flip-the-script situations.  How would the movie be received if a raggedy man had a waifu sex doll that, somehow, came to life.

A movie like that certainly wouldn’t be getting great marks on Rotten Tomatoes.

On the positive, the casting is spot on.

Olivia Colman can much more plausibly play a haggard bag lady, then she can be dolled up to take the Kathleen Turner role in the War of the Roses remake.

Alexander Skarsgård has already played a non-living sex object in Murderbot.  He doesn’t mind being objectified to feature in the lustful dreams of lonely women.  No problem with the female gaze.

Peter Dinklage signals that it is now okay for little people to take roles as dark elves or other magical creatures.

Little Peter is a huge hypocrite because he screwed over Disney and all the actors who could have portrayed the seven dwarfs in Snow White, instead of these CGI abominations.

The important thing is that Dinklage got paid.

Wicker looks like a really weird movie.  TikTok women are even weirder for bragging about their desire to have a woven sex doll of their own.  So perverse.

Gynecologists should be on hot-standby to remove splinters.