It’s still early, but I was tired of lying in bed, so got up.  If Sparky gets tired of lying in bed, he goes to a different bed.  He isn’t ready to get up, but being a good dog, is always on call.

If I lay down on the couch, Sparky would have to get out of bed, come over and jump up on the couch to keep me company.  I don’t know why, but that’s what would happen.

Even lying down on the couch in the living room would summon him.  It reminds me of those little bells they had in Downton Abbey.

The servants had time to relax, but if a little bell rang, they were expected to stop what they were doing, and respond.  A benevolent master kept that in mind, and was respectful of his servants.

I can water plants, make coffee or take a shower, but as a good master, won’t lie on the couch so early in the morning.  

Sparky just reminded me that he is half black, and finds ‘master’ to be offensive. 

I asked him what word I should use instead.  Sparky says that he just got up to take a piss, and is in no mood to discuss the nature of our relationship.

Fair enough.  I am in no mood to do anything until the coffee kicks in.

I am only up because I didn’t sleep well.  My sinuses are malfunctioning, leading to chest congestion and a deep cough.  I thought it was seasonal allergies, but I read an article about whooping cough, and now I think I have that.

I read another article that said that AI doctors are wrong about half the time.  I’d try an AI doctor.  My doctor is right, but he could be replaced by a See N’ Say.  Pull his string to hear one of these helpful phrases: 

  • You should exercise more.
  • Try going meatless for one day per week.
  • It wouldn’t hurt to drop a few pounds.
  • I don’t like those amphetamines you are taking.

Agree to disagree on that last item.  I am not taking an amphetamine, like some Med student addicted to Adderall.  I take the same stuff that B-2 pilots take before they leave Alabama to deliver justice to some distant land. Those guys are high-functioning adults.  

Sparky is getting up for real.  We’ve got our morning fellowship, so I gotta go.