Dogs fetch slippers in the cartoons, why won’t Sparky?

Sparky wants to go out in the morning.  I want to take him out, but don’t know where I left my Croks.  My house is modest, so it isn’t a long search, but if my Crocs aren’t in the first place I look, it’s tempting to abandon the search, and sit for coffee.

Sparky could go get them, but instead, he sits there judging me.

My Crocs smell like my feet or the yard, two scents with which Sparky is thoroughly familiar.  His favorite game is the search and rescue of Mr. Moose, so he is comfortable with the process.

An animal behaviorist would say that Sparky doesn’t understand the sequence of events.  The university egghead is misguided.  Without prompting, Sparky figured out that if I put on socks, there is going to be a car ride.  He knows to sit by the stairs to communicate his interest in going along.

Sparky is a smart dog.  He has thought this through, but using dog logic, so I can only speculate.

By starting my day with a stupid Croc search, Sparky may be hoping that self-doubt will undermine my resolve and give him the edge in our daily battle of wits. 

Sparky may be hoping that I forget what I’m looking for, and decide to feed my dog to hide the embarrassment of wandering around aimlessly. 

This cartoon may illustrate what Sparky is thinking.

Yeah, that’s it.  Dogs don’t want to get exploited to do man work, but Sparky won’t even put away his own toys.

A small percentage of dogs are trained to locate people in a disaster or assist disabled people, but the rest of the dogs could be helping us.

People with a patch of land, often let their dog take a dump where ever they want, then pick it up later.  Dogs should be able to find their own shit, so we can collect it or toss it into the woods when it’s dried out and less offensive. 

Dogs occasionally eat grass for their own purposes.  Why can’t a dog nip off dandelions?  Sparky likes snuffling around the yard.  He should be able to identify a dandelion flower by sight and smell.  Nip off the stem so it can’t propagate.  Sparky would want to piss on the dandelion leaves out of vindictiveness or triumph.  That may help or hurt the plant, but it’s fine.   

I’d just like to see someone train their dog to do some helpful task.  Old dogs can be taught new tricks, they just don’t want to do that trick when you want to see it.