To foster Sparky’s intellectual development, we started a new training exercise. It’s really just hide-and-seek, but Sparky likes it better if we call it search-and-rescue. He wants me to get him an orange vest that says, “RESCUE DOG”. I reminded him that dogs can’t see the color orange, but he doesn’t care.
I also explained that a rescue dog is one that is adopted from an animal shelter. Sparky completely misunderstood the entire concept. Sparky said that he and I met the day after he arrived at the orphanage. We met, then they cut his nuts off, and he woke up wearing a lamp shade. I knew all that, but never thought about what he made of it.
Sparky heard the term “rescue dog”, then all that stuff started happening. He figured I must really need him if things were moving that fast. He assumed that someone would train him or explain my limitations, but that never happened. Maybe good dogs can figure that out on their own.
When I didn’t explain what he needed to do, Sparky thought my disease might be that I got embarrassed really easily. He says that he always acts like he’s hungry, so if I forget to feed him, I won’t be too embarrassed to ever feed him again. When I first brought him home, he pooped on the floor, so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed if I ever pooped on the floor by mistake.
Sparky sounds like he’s just making shit up because he has been bragging about being a rescue dog, without knowing what that meant. Fine, I’ll make him a vest that says something else. Maybe “Dog Weasel” or “KISS ARMY”.
Anyway, here’s a video of one of Sparky’s missions.