Since it’s Monday and Sparky hasn’t woken up yet, starting a cult seems like a good way to pass the time. The cult won’t commence until March 14th, so it’s safe to tell you how the operation works.
Provide your social security number, and the universe provides guidance on what today holds for you. The system is based on the irrational number, Pi, so it’s scientific.
Pi is irrational, so it goes on forever, without repeating digits. Every number sequence is in their somewhere. Your social security number, followed by your birthday, followed by your cellphone number, appear somewhere in the string of digits.
That’s kind of weird and pointless, but this website searches the first billion digits of Pi for strings of numbers.
There is a 60% chance that your social security number is present in the first billion digits of Pi.
There is a 99% chance that a date is present in the first billion digits of Pi.
For instance, today’s date shows up eleven times, with the first entry looking like this 060820260348.
Take the numbers that follow the date and the numbers that follow the social security number, and some mumbo-jumbo provides vague indications of what to expect today. AI can figure out that part.
For group cohesion, members are expected to dress in the fashion of the original Star Trek. For quality control purposes, any men or women who aren’t suited to that style, aren’t admitted to the cult. Since only 60% of social security numbers are present in Pi, excluding people will be easy.
Obviously they won’t be told about the dependence on Pi, or any of the secrets revealed in this post.
That’s my cult.
We won’t want to depend on a Pi website designed by some egghead to only handle a billion digits. If we can do ten billion digits, then members can search using cellphone numbers. That way, we can text them daily reminders and bill them through Venmo.
As an additional revenue stream, we could sell harem clothes and miniskirts. As the cult grows in prominence, the fashion will probably sweep the nation.
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