Representative illustration
Sparky the Brave squared off with a possum1 last night.
We needed to go out just before bed. Sparky wasn’t wearing a collar or leash, but he’d had a big day and was drowsy, so I didn’t think it would be a problem if I kept him on task. Sparky hopped off the deck, headed for the area that passes for his bathroom. I was still on the deck, but 10 feet from him when he spotted the possum in front and to the left. Sparky went to his alert-ready stance.
Have you ever stumbled upon a possum? It’s scary. Possums and raccoons are the bold thugs of the suburbs. It’s like taking an early morning walk in your neighborhood, and passing a couple of guys carrying obviously stolen goods. If you just keep walking, nobody gets hurt. If you want a confrontation, they will stand and fight, rather than cut and run.
I was afraid that if I ran toward Sparky, that would force a decision, and he would bolt and engage. I walked toward him, calling him back. Sparky cautiously approached the possum to figure out what he needed to do.
Sparky isn’t trained, but taught. He knows that I want him to come, but he views it more as a suggestion, rather than a command. He squared off with the possum, but the possum wasn’t running or attacking, so Sparky was circling.
Since the possum wasn’t taking action, Sparky came over to discuss our next move. I snatched him up. Sparky wanted to go back to resolve the situation, but didn’t know how we’d go about that. When I had him, he squirmed a bit, but that seemed performative.
Based on his response, Sparky doesn’t have much experience with possums. If he did, they would be natural competitors. Possums eat ticks. Ticks bring Lyme disease. Sparky likes having Lyme disease because he gets to eat peanut butter. Possums eat other insects, rodents and any other tiny thing. They are also excellent scavengers with a great sense of smell. That is a niche that Sparky enjoys. Although possums look frightening and repulsive, they are good to have around.
1 A possum and an opossum are not the same thing, but colloquially, we call them both possums.
Sparky wasn’t wearing a collar because he’d gotten a bath earlier in the evening. I couldn’t immediately find his collar, so he went outside in the buff.
Sparky needed a bath because he had rolled in shit while spending time with Aunt Joanne. It isn’t obvious that Sparky has rolled in shit until you pet him, and encounter a patch of fur that isn’t smooth and slick. It isn’t her fault. Sparky is naturally cute, and likes to go outside and frolic. Watching him roll around on his back is watching pure joy and satisfaction.
Sparky was spending time with Aunt Joanne because I wanted to visit a shop not far from her home called Bounce Archery. Sparky likes to visit Aunt Joanne because she has a couple of cats that she cherishes. He finds cats to be irrelevant and unworthy of further investigation, but believes that Aunt Joanne has hidden a bunch of toys all over the house for him. To impress Aunt Joanne, he finds the toys, and brings them to the living room. Since they are cat toys, he finds them novel and intriguing. Sparky plays with the toys and is naturally cute, while Joanne loves her cats and likes buying toys for them. He usually comes home with a bunch of fun stuff that he chews up as fast as he can.
I wanted to visit Bounce Archery because it was recommended by Maggie, my archery instructor. Alex and I took “Introduction to Archery” at the Broadview Rec. All I wanted from the 4-session course was to shoot with a selection of bows, get a little instruction, get shop and club recommendations and ascertain the type of archery I wanted to pursue. Maggie came through on all expectations.
Like any equipment sport, it’s possible to get all loaded up with the latest gear. That’s what I’d usually do when starting a new pursuit so that the equipment isn’t an impediment. With archery, I want to go minimalist. I don’t want peep sights, scopes, plungers, clickers, stabilizers or dampers. I intend to shoot in the yard, and have little interest in hunting or competitions. I don’t need a stiff, 60 pound bow from the future to shoot through an engine block. Maggie assured me that Bounce Archery would consider my preferences, not judge, and select the appropriate equipment.
Bounce Archery sucked. It was a small shop, which isn’t great. They had a selection of Mathews bows and a few Genesis bows of the type we used in class. There was only one clerk, and he was engaged fitting a bow for a kid. That’s fine, but he was in no hurry, so had time to take a call from a buddy to talk about deer hunting, and reminisce with the father about archery coaches and mutual acquaintances. I left at the earliest opportunity, which was after standing around for 45 minutes.
I am not naïve, so understand that Maggie may have marketing reasons for instructing the class. She is a college kid, so she may have bad judgement or no judgement. When asked, she gave Bounce Archery a glowing recommendation. I would have appreciated something more realistic, like, “There are bigger stores, like Cabela’s or Fin, Feather, Fur, but Bounce is committed to target archery and they have always been very knowledgeable. I like those guys, they won’t steer you wrong.”
As it is, Maggie’s credibility is gone. I took the course to get archery guidance, so I had to check it out. At least I have an idea of what I want, and can go to Cabela’s or other big outdoor store to get it.
Now, I have to look around the house to make sure the possum hasn’t settled in somewhere untenable.