My sister used ChatGPT to portray Sparky as a samurai.  Sparky thinks that’s a good idea, but I’m not so sure.

You’re in the KISS Army because you look so much like Gene Simmons. 

And you aren’t dumb enough to be a Juggalo.

I was there.  You chased the coyote into the woods, then I had to look for you for a half-hour.  That was very courageous.  You also squared off with that scary possum.  You are a brave dog, but that isn’t enough to be a samurai.

Each samurai has a specially made sword.  Would you take care of your katana?  Last week, you accidentally peed on Mr. Moose, and you leave the Tweety-mouse outside all the time.

Yeah, that’s true, you are very good with rotting garbage.  There are probably other things a samurai has to do.  Here’s what Google AI says.

They were highly skilled soldiers, primarily using swords and other weapons, and were known for their loyalty and adherence to a strict warrior code called bushido.

Every week, you snuggle up to Uncle Davy when we watch Ted Lasso.  That isn’t very loyal.

That’s cool, I don’t mind.  You should have other friends.  It just isn’t very like a samurai.

Could you adhere to a warrior code?  That seems to be important.  The only code you seem to follow is, “See a food, eat a food.”

Don’t worry about Aunt Joanne, she’s the one who tried to get you drunk on white Russians.

I got that all straightened out.  Nobody thinks you’re a racist.  The guy’s name was Maurice.  You expect him to be a space cowboy or gangster of love.  Maybe a bear.  He probably gets that all the time.

Google AI also says:

In feudal Japan, ninjas, also known as shinobi, were specialized agents, often mercenaries, who were skilled in various martial arts, intelligence gathering, and covert operations. They were not simply warriors but also spies, assassins, and saboteurs,

You could be a ninja.  That suits your skill set better.  We could call you, Sparkinobi.  I have some black t-shirts, we can take some photos later on.

Yeah, Aunt Joanne talks about ninjas all the time.  She, and everyone else, thinks it’s awkward and creepy when you roll over to show everybody your dick while you make Marty Feldman eyes.

Sparky said he was showing off his scar because that’s what tough guys do.  He saw that in the movie, Jaws.  I explained that Quint would not be impressed by surgery scars from his neutering.  Sparky apologized for making me apply the modesty splash to his photo.

It’s going to rain all day, so Sparky and I are going to make some popcorn and watch Young Frankenstein.