Free Press: David Sedaris Punching Down

Words, we are now regularly reminded, are violence. So too is silence. I read not long ago that capitalism is violence, as is misgendering someone. Ignoring someone is violence, but so too is paying them attention.

Sedaris is a cosmopolitan humorist, so he is describing coastal people and what is written by influencers on social media, but many young people don’t seem very resilient.

Who are these hothouse flowers, all so easily and consistently wounded? People whose parents never hit them, that’s who. People who don’t know what real pain is, but still want to throw the word around. When I was a child, a slap across the face was too minor to qualify as “casual violence.”

I’ve not raised children, but they do seem to benefit from some setbacks when they are young so they can handle setbacks when they get older.  Having more family around who don’t treat a child like a precious flower does seem to do them some good.

If our schools are a mess it’s in large part due to these parents who think their kids are special, who get mad if you contradict their brilliance, if you give them a bad grade or, God forbid, try to take their phones away. Had one of my teachers told my mother that I was acting up in class, she’d have said, “Thank you so much for letting me know.” Then she’d have come to wherever I was—in front of the TV, or at the side of the TV making my way to the front of it—and slapped my sister Gretchen so hard her eyes would have crossed.

Most teachers would agree with that sentiment, but any talk of corporal punishment in schools is viewed as giving a student an abusive beating.  Having gotten a swat in high school, I know it absolutely wasn’t that.

My swat was a miscarriage of justice, but I went along with it because I certainly deserved it for something.  At no point did I consider calling my parents.  They never mentioned it, so I’m not certain they knew that it happened.

It was after school.  The assistant principal and teacher were present.  The AP asked if you knew why you were getting a swat.  I told them why.  I got one swat, we shook hands, and it was over.  Say what you want about corporal punishment, but boys are having much worse outcomes in our current system.  Nobody has ever heard of a girl getting a swat. 

Children now are like animals who have no natural predators left. Had I arrived at my elementary school with a bleeding head wound, explaining that my father had just thrown me out of his moving car because I was teasing my sister, the teacher would have handed me a Band-Aid, saying, “Well, I hope you learned a lesson from it.” Now, even a scratch on the back of your hand could get your parents locked up for abuse. And children know this!

Every parent I know is aware of this, but most are indulge their children more than their parents did.